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I'm starting to feel the way I used to feel when I was in that dark and scary place last year. The same feelings and thoughts are coming to my head. They are really starting to scare me again. I thought I was over all of that. Over all of the feeling sorry for myself and what not, but I guess I'm not. Losing friends and feeling alone puts me in that place every time. And when I feel like my friends are blowing me off, ignoring me, or pushing me out of their life I get confused I what I did wrong to deserve it. I don't want to feel this way. I know I am a strong independent woman, but I hate feel exiled by my friends. I hate feeling like I don't have any friends. And I hate the feeling like I have no one to turn to. It is a very dark and scary place to be in, and no one should go to that place. It's just, every time I think things are getting better, they don't, they actually get worse. I was finally in a good place thanks to this summer. I work on myself, and I was finally genuinely happy for myself. I wish I could go back to that, when it was so much easier. All I know, is I can't wait to graduate and finally get on to the good part of my life.