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I'm starting to feel the way I used to feel when I was in that dark and scary place last year. The same feelings and thoughts are coming to my head. They are really starting to scare me again. I thought I was over all of that. Over all of the feeling sorry for myself and what not, but I guess I'm not. Losing friends and feeling alone puts me in that place every time. And when I feel like my friends are blowing me off, ignoring me, or pushing me out of their life I get confused I what I did wrong to deserve it. I don't want to feel this way. I know I am a strong independent woman, but I hate feel exiled by my friends. I hate feeling like I don't have any friends. And I hate the feeling like I have no one to turn to. It is a very dark and scary place to be in, and no one should go to that place. It's just, every time I think things are getting better, they don't, they actually get worse. I was finally in a good place thanks to this summer. I work on myself, and I was finally genuinely happy for myself. I wish I could go back to that, when it was so much easier. All I know, is I can't wait to graduate and finally get on to the good part of my life.

I look into the mirror

I look into the mirror and what do I see?

I see a face, unlike me.

I see a face, so unhappy.

I see a face, that isn't me.

This doesn't seem right, it's not who I am.

I don't like what I see, and I'm not a fan.

Imperfection that is, is all I see.

When I look into the mirror, I don't see me.

I see a face that's mad.

I see a face that's sad.

I only see the things, that are bad.

The person staring back at me, isn't me at all.

All I see, is someone beginning to fall.

It's a scary thing, what I think my heart.

I don't like at all of what I see, right from the start.

Friendship

You have to keep your friends close and not lose sight of whats important. You have to keep a balance in your life with your friends. You can't push them away as much as you may want to. You have to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship if it's a really important close one. You can't keep things bottled up inside if they are bothering you. You have to come out and tell them to keep your friendship with them strong. It's important to keep sight of your friendship and how it is going. But remember, friendship isn't a one way street. It takes a 50/50 effort to keep the friendship. Like they say, it takes two to tango. Friendship isn't just one person doing all the work, so remember that.

Life is short

You only get one life to live and life is short. You only get one chance at making the memories, so make the best of them while your living them. Friends are very important people to have in your life. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for my friends. I know I defiantly wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for them. I have grown into the person I am thanks to my besties. Many things have shaped my life; but, my friends by far have made the biggest impact on my life. They brought me out of my shell and turned the shy wallflower girl that kept to herself into an outgoing social butterfly that can't shut her mouth. I am proud to be the person I am thanks to my friends. Friends may have come in and out of my life but even if they do not remain, each and every one of my friends have impacted my life in some way. So.. the memories I have made in my life have impacted my life along with my friends. These people that I have in my life are the best by far. The friends that I have are ones that I believe will stay in my life for a very LONG time; and will always be there for me. The most important thing in my life, right now, is making the best of it with my friends and making the best memories to last a lifetime. Because it is true, we only have ONE life to live so you mind as well make the best of each and every moment. Ever moment in life is important because you never know when it will all end and it will be your last moment. Life is very unexpected, so live like it's your last and make the best of each and every moment while you have the chance because you never know when it will be your last. You are only promised today and never promised tomorrow so life it up like it's your last.

The tans may fade... but the memories will last a lifetime

It doesn't matter what you do with your life or who you do it with. As long as you're making memories and living you're life to the fullest. People may come in and out of your life, but only a select few leave footprints in your heart. It's thoughs few people that stand by you no matter what. When you tell them "don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon" they believe you. They stand by you through thick and thin. You know, summer is only once a year for approximately three months and that's it. That is all the time we get to make these amazing summer memories. We need to spend this time with the people that mean the most to us. Material things WILL fade; but memories, they will last forever. They stay with you for your whole life. You have to make the best of it. When you look back on your life, you're gonna want to see the amazing life you lived. So you have to take the good with the bad. Take the happy with the sad. Take the fun with the boring; and live your life. Because right here; right now, is all that matters.  

Tornado???

So... for the first time in my life I was a little nervous that there was going to be a tornado. A real tornado!!!! I've never seen one before. I've always wanted to see one, but I would live if I never saw one once in my life. It made me really nervous because it seemed like the warning come on and the siren come on when my bestie left my house. But no worries for her because it wasn't moving her way. But what would I do if there really was a tornado? Still under tornado warning, I wonder. I was an expert on tornado awareness when I was little. I researched a ton, and I was just so fasinated by them. If there was really one to happen though, I dont know what I would do. I'll tell you one thing, I would probably panic or just freak out. Even though my room is in the basement and the safest room in the house, I think I would still be at least a little nervous. Maybe I wouldn't be so much scared for myself, but I would be a little scared for my friends and family. I think I would just be scared not knowing if they were safe or not. Either way, the coast is pretty much clear for me and I believe the ones I love. So.... what to do if there's a tornado? What would you do???

Summer 2011, EPIC

The summer has finally begun. The epic summer of 2011 we have been waiting for has finally arrived. I have been waiting for THIS summer my whole life. The summer of fun in the sun and of which I can drive. I'm gonna make the best of this summer and that's all there is to it. Friends, family, and...... Boys<3. Yeah alright, I'm hopeing to find that summer love. Call me a hopeless romantic but the sun, the beach, and the warmth just makes me hope somehow, someway I will meet someone. Whether or not I meet someone or not I'm gonna to have a blast this summer. I'm going to make the best of it with my friends. Summer 2011, we've waited our whole lives for it, it's going to be epic, and it's going to be...... Magical!!!